Not A Fan of Christmas
by Midnight Forever
Summary: Hidan shows just how much he hates Christmas. Hidan crack!fic Rated M for language


_A/N:_ A little present for all my fans and friends for Christmas '07. Hidan shows just how much he hates Christmas with a little demonstration. Enjoy!

**Not a Fan Of Christmas**

**By:** Keysoto

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The peace and quiet that normally surrounded the main Akatsuki base was disrupted by a short, ear-slitting scream. Hidan breathed heavily, startled by the mass amounts of Christmas ornaments and decorations that were littered about his room.

He had returned from an all night pilgrimage only to walk into his room at 10 a.m. in desperate need of sleep, meeting with a wall of red, green, and shiny things. In the corner where Hidan normally kept his sacrificial pike, there was a huge, as in touching the ten-foot high ceiling, Christmas tree. Or at least, that was what Hidan assumed it to be, since he didn't pay mind to pagan symbols.

Hidan slowly walked into the room he shared with his partner, wondering just what the hell happened. The ceiling was lined with red lights and the small windows in green. The bulbs on the tree flashed and rainbow light sparked on the silver ornaments.

Who the hell had done this? Abnormally silent, Hidan continued to investigate the room. He felt like hurling when he saw both his and Kakuzu's sheets and bedspreads had been changed to some nasty red and white snowy field design.

With a double take, Hidan noticed a small box on his pillow. Now officially pissed, Hidan marched over and ripped the wrapping off and looked inside. A string of pearls in groups of five was delicately laid out on the cotton padding and when Hidan saw the small silver hook in the center, meant for a talisman, he dropped the box.

By Jashin, who would DO this to him?

Hidan's question was answered when he heard chuckling from the doorway. Whipping around, Hidan's violet eyes hardened at his partner. Even though his mask was up, Hidan could tell he was smirking. Smirking so sadistically at Hidan's shock and horror that anger replaced everything else in an instant. Hidan harshly pointed a finger at his now chuckling partner, "You fucking jackass! What the fuck is all this?! Your sick way of getting back at me for something I've never fucking done?! Jashin-sama will KILL me for this, you fucking heathen retard!"

As his rant went on, Hidan stomped closer to Kakuzu, till his partner towered over him. Kakuzu's eyes twinkled in something like joy, before letting out a breathy laugh. "I don't know, Hidan. I think the room looks nice." He accented his point by looking at all the decorations he spent hours putting up. "And look," Kakuzu walked over to the Christmas tree, kneeled down, and pointed underneath at the gifts, "Santa brought you presents!"

Hidan felt his face go blood red as anger pulsed through him. Kakuzu was getting so much damn joy out of making Hidan uncomfortable and pissed he HAD to have a full-out grin under that damn fucking mask. Hidan tried looking away to quell some of his anger, when he set his eyes back on the pearl rosary. He snatched it up and gave it a disgusted look. A thought suddenly hit him and with a malicious smirk, Hidan gathered the pearls in his hand and chucked them as hard as he could at Kakuzu, hitting the tall man in the face.

"Take that, you fucking pagan-idol worshiping sack of shit!" Hidan proceeded to tear down the lights and throw them at Kakuzu until he managed to chase him out of the room by hurling glass ornaments at him.

"You asshole! You fucking asshole! You goddamn motherfucking asshole! Don't you DARE show yourself to me for a week! I'll kill you! You AND your piece of shit God holidays!" Hidan slammed the door with such force the mirror shook on the wall before falling and shattering. Hidan stared at it and huffed, rolled his eyes and with a quick Katon no jutsu, set the Christmas tree on fire; Hidan sat down and watched it burn with satisfaction.

Take that you fucking pagan symbols.

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So? Was Hidan in character? I tried, truly I did. Hope you all enjoyed this and enjoy your Christmas'/Hanukahs/ Kwanzaa/Winter Solstices. Please review 


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